Book Review: Tears to Joy by Natalie Flake

Good Morning

I wanted to write a quick post and recommend a book that I recently read. Tears to Joy: Finding Hope in the Presence of Bipolar Disorder and Suicide by Natalie Flake. This book details Natalie and her husband's struggle through bipolar disorder and how Natalie was able to discover new joy and hope through Michael's death. Natalie also encourages Christian's to gain a new understanding of mental illness. Since I am planning on beginning a psychiatry residency soon I find it a very valuable resource and encourage all of you to read it. 

This book is also special to me because Michael was my cousin. His death shocked all of us but over the years we have healed and this book brought even more healing into my life. I pray that you will pick up a copy of this book and be blessed by what Natalie has to share. 

Sarah

http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=978-1-62147-389-3

http://www.natalieflake.com

Authentically Made; Authentically Me

When I was a little girl, I had all these dreams of what my life would be like when I grew up. At the time I wanted to be a Meteorologist, despite my fear of thunderstorms. I would go to the University of Oklahoma where I would meet the man of my dreams and we would live happily ever after. Like many young girls and women I enjoyed watching "chick flicks". I thought that this is how life would be for everyone. As a teenager and even at times into to college I pictured this fairly tale lifestyle often depicted in movies. Well I ended up falling in love with medicine during high school and attending Oklahoma Baptist University and graduating with a degree in Biochemistry. Now I'm in my final year of medical school, dating an incredible man of God, and closer to my family than I have ever been. I can honestly say I would have it no other way. I am blessed beyond measure and I realize that God's plan and who he has made me is more important than what my plans for my life were. 

You see we all have had these visions and dreams of what our lives will be like when we "grow up." I recently finished reading the next section in the Resolution book. It is called Authentically Me: A resolution to value myself and celebrate others. In the first chapter of this section she described re-decorating a room. She said that her decorator brought in this one little item as inspiration to the room. She was afraid to choose it because she didn't want to base her entire room design on such a tiny item. You know many times we do the same thing in our lives. We base who were are on tiny things that may not have significance. Or as I described above we strive to be something we are not based on a movie or a book or some fairy tale we read as a child. I discovered that in addition to what I described in the beginning I choose to base who I am off of minor details of my life. For instance, I struggle with self confidence. I tend to be rather difficult on myself. If I get a bad grade or don't do as well as I would like or better than my fellow classmates I tend to think of the worst possible situation. Through these situations I find my self deciding that I must be a failure. This has lead me to be in relationships where I allow others to continue these feelings of being a failure. At times this has lead me to be a less confident individual who allows others to take advantage of her. But in over the last two years I have realized that God has created me. He is working on making me into a masterpiece. I am reminded by friends and family that  I am in fact a hard worker, that I am not a failure. I have learned to be confident in myself and present myself confidently to those I come in contact with. I realize that although there are several things that I struggle with, these things don't define me but make me who I am. By embracing my weakness I am able to recognize my strengths and use them to succeed in life. 1 Peter 2:9-10, reminds us of how God sees us. 

"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.  Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy"

We are royalty in God's eyes. If God sees us this way then why do we allow our little imperfections to define us? 

We are not only seen as royalty to God but He knows everything about us. And He desires for us to see ourselves as the beautiful creation He has created us to be. We are daughter's of the King of Kings. God desires for us to embrace all the uniqueness that He has given us. He wants us to not base our lives on the little things, but on the big thing that He has adopted us as his daughter and with that comes all the rights and responsibilities of being His Child.

In addition to embracing who we are, we must also encourage and affirm the unique qualities of our sisters in Christ. I recently listened to a sermon online by Joe McGee. He was speaking on family. He spoke on how God has created men and women differently. He said that he created them each to serve different roles, so in a marriage the man and the woman compliment each other. The same is true with the body of Christ but on a much larger role. God has created us to be unique. Each of us have different qualities to bring to the body of Christ. We are all needed to minister to others and fulfill the mission of the Church. Women tend to pick on each other. We tend to point out those little details in our fellow sisters, you know those little blemishes. And as women when people do that we tend to make those blemishes into who we are. At the end of the section she challenged women to take the time to encourage their friends by telling them the qualities you admire. So I challenge you. Think of those women in your life who mean the most to you and give a call or a text to tell them what it is you admire in them. Can you imagine the difference that would be made? How would our relationships with other women in our churches and circles grow? How many could we bring to Christ if we were united in our uniqueness 

Resolution: 

"I will accept and celebrate my uniqueness and will esteem and encourage the distinctions I admire in others"

In closing I would like to end with Psalm 139 from the Message

 God, investigate my life;

    get all the facts firsthand.

I’m an open book to you;

    even from a distance, you know what I’m thinking.

You know when I leave and when I get back;

    I’m never out of your sight.

You know everything I’m going to say

    before I start the first sentence.

I look behind me and you’re there,

    then up ahead and you’re there, too—

    your reassuring presence, coming and going.

This is too much, too wonderful—

    I can’t take it all in!

Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit

    to be out of your sight?

If I climb to the sky, you’re there!

    If I go underground, you’re there!

If I flew on morning’s wings

    to the far western horizon,

You’d find me in a minute—

    you’re already there waiting!

Then I said to myself, “Oh, he even sees me in the dark!

    At night I’m immersed in the light!”

It’s a fact: darkness isn’t dark to you;

    night and day, darkness and light, they’re all the same to you.

Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;

    you formed me in my mother’s womb.

I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking!

    Body and soul, I am marvelously made!

    I worship in adoration—what a creation!

You know me inside and out,

    you know every bone in my body;

You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,

    how I was sculpted from nothing into something.

Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;

    all the stages of my life were spread out before you,

The days of my life all prepared

    before I’d even lived one day.

Your thoughts—how rare, how beautiful!

    God, I’ll never comprehend them!

I couldn’t even begin to count them—

    any more than I could count the sand of the sea.

Oh, let me rise in the morning and live always with you!

    And please, God, do away with wickedness for good!

And you murderers—out of here!—

    all the men and women who belittle you, God,

    infatuated with cheap god-imitations.

See how I hate those who hate you, God,

    see how I loathe all this godless arrogance;

I hate it with pure, unadulterated hatred.

    Your enemies are my enemies!

Investigate my life, O God,

    find out everything about me;

Cross-examine and test me,

    get a clear picture of what I’m about;

See for yourself whether I’ve done anything 

Refining Fire

When I was in middle school, I did a science fair project on forrest fires. I became interested in forrest fires when my family and I went on vacation to Yellowstone National Park. While there we could see damage from a recent forrest fires. At first we were sadden by the destruction of the fires, but then a forrest ranger educated us about the need for forrest fires. The ranger told us how the fires were needed for the regeneration of the forrest. When there is a fire nutrients from the wood and grass of the forrest that burns is allowed to reenter the soil and provide a rich fertilizer. Fires also get rid of brush that has accumulated in the forrest and serves as a natural forrest clearer. If you have been anywhere near Oklahoma recently you know that we are in a severe drought. At the beginning of August several wild fires broke out across the state. These fires caused destruction of not only the land but, properties as well. Some of these areas are along I-44 which I have traveled frequently recently while going back and forth between Oklahoma City and Tulsa. About 4 weeks ago, the first weekend after the fires, I drove home. I saw several patches of black, grey, and ashy pieces of land. Trees trunks were brunt and their leaves had turn brown as if it was fall. Then next weekend as I drove home, I saw tiny little pieces of green coming up through the blackened earth. The following weekend I saw more green coming up through the blackened earth. This weekend as I drove home through more areas that had been burned I saw the same thing happening in stages as some areas had burned more recently. There were areas that had this lush green grass that was beautiful. It was bright green and looked like the beginning of spring. The tree trunks were still burned and the leaves were brown, but there were leaves that were starting to turn green again. These brown leaves had fallen off as in the fall, but new leaves were budding out. It was beautiful.

Okay sorry for the description about wild fires, but it does have a point. As I was driving home this Friday I realized that our lives are much like this. You see we all have the wild fires of our own lives. I believe that God uses these fires to bring about change and growth in our lives. The wild fires of our lives are not pleasant and they hurt. They may cause pain and sadness as they do in those that lose property during fires. But the fires in our lives are necessary just as they are in nature. God uses these trials to  allow us to grow. He uses these trials to get rid of the "junk" that has accumulated in our lives and taken our focus off Him. When we first accept Christ we are a new creation in God, but because we are still human we continue to need times of refining. As Christians our lives should be focused on growing closer to God, to perfecting our relationship with Him, and seeking His will for our lives. Isaiah 48:10 says that  we are refined "not as silver, but in the furnace of affliction". You see the fire is necessary to bring about the perfection and beauty of what God wants to create in you and me. After the refining process in our lives we begin to have regeneration of life just as in the forrest fire. We become a more beautiful creation in Christ, with beautiful new grass just like after a forrest fire. We are better able to focus the plan that God has prepared for us because the rubbish and distractions have been cleared. 

We must remember that while necessary the fires of our lives can be painful. Times of refining are not pleasant but the result is worthwhile. Recently a friend of mine lost a baby in a miscarriage. She has encouraged me as she has shared with me what she has learned through this experience. So in closing two final words from this dear friend to remember during the fires of your life. 

"God keeps His promises and He never wastes a Hurt"