A Promise Fulfilled

Merry Christmas!!! I hope that you are having a wonderful Christmas and that you are worshiping the Christ Child who stepped down from his throne and into a manger to bring salvation to us. So it has been quite awhile since I last updated my blog. During the month of December I have been on a Surgery rotation which has consisted of long hours and lots of studying. I have enjoyed this month, but I am glad it is coming to an end.

In honor of Christmas I have decided to write about Anna, the phophetess that was present the day Jesus was presented at the temple. I know when it comes to Christmas and thinking about women, we tend to think about Mary or Elizabeth, but this morning as I was reading in Luke 2 I was reminded of this very special woman that played a role in the story too.

Luke 2 tells us that Anna was  a phophetess who was married for 7 years then widowed at the time of Jesus' birth she was 84 years old. She spent her life in the temple praising God "day and night." This woman no doubt had known suffering after losing her husband at such a young age and never being blessed with children, but she did not allow that to keep her from praising God. On the eight day after Jesus birth as was the custom of the day Mary and Joseph took Jesus to the temple to present Him to the Lord. Simon was an old prophet who had been promised by God that he would not die until he saw the coming of the promised Messiah. When Mary and Joseph brought Jesus to the temple Simon began praising God saying:

²⁹ “Sovereign Lord, as you have promised, 

   you may now dismiss your servant in peace. 

³⁰ For my eyes have seen your salvation,  ³¹ which you have prepared in the sight of all nations: 

³² a light for revelation to the Gentiles, 

   and the glory of your people Israel.”

Luke 2:29-32

At this same time Anna came up to Mary and Joseph recognizing that Jesus was the promised Messiah she too began praising God. She began prophesying about how Jesus was the Christ the Messiah and that He would be the one to bring redemption to the nation of Israel. She spoke of the promise of a Savior that had been given long ago. You see Anna had spent her life studying the scripture. She knew that a savior would be born of a Virgin in the city of David. She knew that the Messiah would not come into a palace or to bring an earthly kingdom. She knew that Christ must come as a man. She was expectant and looking for fulfillment of the promise. Many in Bethlehem that night and in the temple that day missed the savior coming to earth. They were busy with their lives. Some probably lost sight of the promise that had been given hundreds of years before. Some expected a earthly king to be born in a palace and free them from the earthly rule of Cesar. But Simon and Anna got it. The knew what the scripture said and because of that they were blessed beyond measure to welcome the savior of the world into His earthly life. 

I pray that we do not miss the meaning of Christmas. The heavenly king stepping down from His throne into manager. He left His kingdom to become a man knowing that He would one day die a painful death for our sins, a death that He did not deserve. It is my prayer that I can live a life like Anna, a life full of praise day and night. I pray that those around me see the Messiah in me. I pray that I can rejoice as Anna did at the coming of the Christ-child. May this Christmas season and this new year we not get so busy and hurried that we don't see Christ around us as they did so long ago in Bethlehem. 

Southern Thanksgiving: Butter, Onion, Garlic and Sugar

Today my cousin Beth and I cooked thanksgiving dinner for the first time by ourselves. Beth and I have always helped with cooking Christmas dinner, but have never been responsible for getting the entire meal finished. Something we've learned over the years from my mom and grandmother are the staples of southern cooking...Butter, Garlic, Onions, and Sugar. Almost everything we made today had at least two of these ingredients. Last week my mom had knee replacement surgery so she spent most of the day in the recliner. She came into the kitchen briefly to give instructions and then our adventure began. We hoped that our grandmother who cooked several Christmas and Thanksgiving dinners would inspire us and that she would be proud of us. Well it turned out to be an adventure for sure, with somethings that grandma would do and somethings she wouldn't. 

Last night Beth and I began our cooking adventure, with the desserts. We made a chocolate cake, 3 pumpkin pies, and 2 pecan pies. We also made a lime congealed jello salad. This proved to be an interesting experience. At one point Beth commented, "Sarah, I don't think its (pumpkin pie) suppose to look like this." You see the pumpkin pie recipe called ground cloves, but we had none, so we put the whole cloves in the magic bullet to make our own ground cloves. Needless to say the magic bullet doesn't make very good ground cloves. They are kind of chunky. Well chunky continued to be at the theme of the evening. My mom makes this lime jello salad. So I made it last night. As I was mixing it up Beth informed me that the I should have mixed up the cream cheese before adding the jello, so we had some chunks of cream cheese in the jello mold. Darci (beth's daughter) helped me make "Grandma's famous chocolate pound cake". My grandmother would always make this cake for me when I came to visit so it is very special to make it. Midway through the night we realized that we had a huge mess to deal with. Every mixing bowl in the kitchen had been used. While making chocolate icing Darci managed to spread cocoa all over the stove. We went to bed about midnight and planned to get up at 630 am. 

This morning my mom gave us a few instructions on how to cook a turkey. We put our turkey in the oven a proceeded to make the dressing. Now in our family, making dressing is a task. We don't just cook stuffing. You have to make cornbread and toast bread. Then you mix it up with celery and onion. My grandmother put onion in everything, it is definitely a southern staple. I made broccoli salad, one of my favorite dishes. One of the highlights of the morning was finding two tubes of cream corn in the deep freeze from Georgia. Now its not good as fresh cream corn from the cob which is by far the best, but we made do. We also made green bean casserole, deviled eggs, and yeast rolls. Well not homemade yeast rolls, they were frozen. Grandma would have made homemade yeast rolls. We made sweet potato casserole complete with marshmallows. Beth used the potato strainer like grandma would have, but we didn't have the pestle so she had to use a spatula. We also microwaved the sweet potatoes, again something grandma wouldn't do. She would have peeled, cubed, and boiled them. 

Dinner turned out well. We cooked for about 4 hours last night and 6 this morning and it was all over in 20 minutes of eating. Today the children and Dave and my brother Stephen cleaned up after lunch while Beth and I directed from the dining room table, again something my grandmother would have never done. Today Beth and I gained a greater appreciation of how hard grandma worked to cook Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners. I remember my grandmother staying up late on Christmas eve to make preparations for the big lunch the next day. By the time I got there she had already been baking for days. She would make preparations for the dressing on Christmas eve. Then she would wake up early and start cooking the turkey and finish everything needed for lunch. She would make breakfast for us as well. We would usually have a ham in addition to the turkey. Today my mom asked us if we just made all of our favorite dishes. I guess in a way you could say we did. We made everything that we could think of that grandma would have had. After lunch we decided there was one dish we left out...homemade mac and cheese, so we will have to make that later this weekend. 

Today I am thankful for my grandmother. She was a selfless woman who gave of herself. Today after dinner was over and we were so tired we decided that grandma was truly a Stout Woman. She taught us how to serve other people. She taught us how to love others selflessly. She also taught us how to cook. While we were nervous about being in charge of this dinner Grandma taught us how to cook and so did my mom. Today I missed my grandma, but knew that she was looking down on us from heaven. I wished I had asked my grandma more of her secrets to cooking and what recipes she used. Many times she didn't use a recipe or modified it. I wish we had those modifications. My mom told us that she was proud of us and that we had out done ourselves. I also believe that my grandma would have been proud of us as well. I know it would have been hard for her to stay out of the kitchen, like it was for my mom, but she would have been very proud of her two granddaughters. 

Ideal Woman: Made in the Image of God.

This weekend I went to Philbrook Art museum. They have a room with ancient sculptures and masks in it. One of the sculptures was titled "Ideal Woman." Society is always trying to put a label on what an ideal woman is. Secular society portrays an ideal woman based on her looks. Many women struggle to look like these ideal women that they see in the magazines. They think that if they can only be the woman on TV or in the magazine then they will find fulfillment in their life. Christian society has their own opinions. In the church people often describe the Proverbs 31 woman and other examples of women we see in the bible. There are numbers books written on what it means to be a woman.  As women we constantly look and strive to be the ideal woman. I think that many times we are looking in the wrong direction. Whether we are trying to conform to societies ideal or live out every ideal in the 100's of books written by Christian women, we lose sight of what it really means to be a a woman.

Proverbs 31 is a good place to start. Many women desire to be a Proverbs 31 woman to live our lives as the woman described in the passage. We tend to get caught up the in the details. We have many examples of what it means to be a woman in the bible, starting with Eve. We've all read the stories of Sarah, Ruth, Miriam, Deborah, the Mary's, and I could go on, but I think you get the point. We've read the books on what it means to be a woman. At times I become over whelmed reading these stories and books. I recently started reading "Let Me Be a Woman" by Elisabeth Elliot, this book is a collection of letters she wrote to her own daughter as a wedding present. In one chapter I think that Elisabeth Elliot gets to the core of what it means to be a woman. We were made in the image of God and we were created to be man's helpmate.

First made in the image of God. I am in awe that the creator the universe,  the God of all that was, is and will ever be made me in His image. In His likeness. Nothing else in all of God's creation was made in His image except man and woman. This shows us his desire to have relationship with us. He doesn't need us but He wants us. He wants to use us. There is nothing spectacular about what we can bring to God, but he choses to use the gifts and talents He has given us. As women we are made in the image of God. As Christians we have the opportunity to take Christ characteristics and share them with those around us. It through the Lord that we are able to love compassionately and serve others. We are made in His image so that should show us that we are far better than any magazine or TV ideal of a woman. Just like those masks in that room, as women we try to put on a mask so on the outside we look ideal. We don't want those around us to see who we really are. But you see because we are made in God's image we don't have to hide who we really are. God has made us beautiful on the inside and outside. When He looks at us He sees the finest point of all his creation.

Secondly, God made us for a purpose to be man's helpmate. We were created to help man. To work along side of him. We were created to assist man in accomplishing the will of God. This does not mean that we cannot be strong women. God did not create us to sit on the sidelines and  not to use our minds. He created us to be helpers. Men need strong women to help them achieve the will of God. As Christians we are called to the harvest, we are called to be farmers of the seeds we plant. We are called to work together as brother and sister in Christ.

So what is the ideal woman? The ideal woman is the woman who recognizes that she is created in the image of God and who embraces it. The ideal woman is a woman that realizes that she was created for a purpose. She takes these two simple aspects found in Genesis and puts them to use in her daily life. Realizing that you are made in the image of God and that you were made for a purpose makes you a strong woman.

Strong and Courageous

"We don't have to carry, adopt, or raise children in order to qualify as spiritual mothers. Instead, we only need to display a willingness to use the gifts that God has entrusted to us in order to nurture others and strengthen others in their faith. "

~ Anonymous 

I recently read the story of Jael and Deborah in the Judges 4-5. I've never head of Jael before. When Deborah served as a judge for the national of Israel, a group of Israelites tried to rebel against the nation and take over. The leader of this group was a man named Sisera. Deborah told another man named Barak that the Lord had ordered him to pursue Sisera, but Barak wouldn't go without Deborah, so she went. She told Barak, however, because she was going that he would not get the honor over stopping the rebellion, but that the Lord would hand Sisera over to a woman. Meanwhile, as Sisera fled he came to the tent of a woman named Jael. Jael knew that her husband was a member of the group causing the rebellion, because Sisera had come their to seek shelter. While he was in her home, she killed him because she knew he was causing rebellion against the Lord.


In a moment Jael, had to make a decision, would she side with her husband who was in sin rebelling against the Lord, or would she obey God and not provide shelter and safety to Sisera. In Judges 5, we read Deborah's, song, in which she gives praise to Jael saying that she is blessed among women for her decision. Judges 5 ends with saying that they had peace for forty years.


Judges 4-5 gives us a glimpse of two women who acted courageously and helped save the nation of Israel from destruction by enemies from within. There is much to be learned from Jael and Deborah, as women we are called to be courageous just like they were. These women used the gifts God blessed them with to fight their battles and to stand for their beliefs. Our society today needs women that will stand for what is right, that will fight for lost souls, and that will minister to those that are hurting.


Elisabeth Elliot is a modern example of  a courageous woman. Ms. Elliot lost her husband Jim while he was on mission to South America. Jim and four other men had flown to a village in South America to minister to a tribe that had never heard the name of Jesus. This tribe was known for the violence against "outsiders." Jim and his companions had contact with members of the tribe before, but when the came to set up the mission, they were attacked and killed. It is not known why the natives decided to kill these men. Later Elisabeth Elliot and the other widows of the men that were killed traveled to the very same village to minister to the men who had killed their husbands. There are stories of how she ministered to the very men that killed her husband and how these men and their families came to know Jesus. Elisabeth Elliot teaches that through dark times and trials God is still glorified. She choose to forgive and minister to those who took her husband from her leaving her a widow and a single mom. She ministered to the women of the Auca Indian Tribe. Now this particular tribe in South America is no longer a tribe that has never heard the name of Jesus, but a tribe that not only knows, but loves Jesus. 

“I have one desire now - to live a life of reckless abandon for the Lord, putting all my energy and strength into it.” 

~ Elisabeth Elliot

God calls us as women to be ministers of his gospel in many of the same ways that Elisabeth Elliot ministered to the Auca Tribe. I was recently reading in a commentary in my bible that talked about spiritual motherhood. In this commentary over Deborah it talked about how we don't have to be earthly mothers to be spiritual mothers. You see God has made women to be nurturing, caregivers, who compassionately love those around us. Not that being a nurturing care-give is a bad thing, in fact I believe that is part of what God calls us as women to be, but that is not the end all be all of his purpose in our lives. You see Elisabeth Elliot didn't just sit to the side passively being a quiet woman. She boldly shared the gospel with those who needed to hear it the most. In the 1950's it wasn't proper for a single woman to travel like she did. She was told to stay in the states and minister to those here. She decided to act on faith in God and fight for the lost souls of the men and women of the Auca tribe. We need more Christian women that will rise up and take a stand. We need women like Deborah that will be brave, even when the men around them refuse. We need to be women of courage that fight for families, our friends, and those that we don't know to Christ come to the knowledge of saving grace in Christ Jesus. Women, God has created you to be strong, to be courageous, and to stand for what is right. God wants us to minister and mentor those women who are younger than us. It is  through our example as Christian women that the young Christian girls will grow to be strong Christian women. We need to seek out mentors, strong Christian women who are actively fighting for lost souls everyday, women who are courageous and not afraid to use the gifts God has given them. We need women who are not afraid to act in faith even when no one else will.

“He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." 

~ Jim Elliot

“The will of God is not something you add to your life. It’s a course you choose. You either line yourself up with the Son of God…or you capitulate to the principle which governs the rest of the world.”
~ Elisabeth Elliot

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Joshua 1:9

In Search of Shalom

‎"to promote life not death, health not sickness, to suffer and counsel with those who suffer, to care compassionately when one cannot cure, to be a part of God's presence in the valley of the shadow of death, in short to search for shalom" 

Hessel Bouma III

I first read this quote as a freshmen at OBU. We read a book called on Moral Medicine in our Biology Colloquium class. This book was a collection of essays dealing with various aspects of ethical issues we face in medicine. I don't remember a lot about this particular article, but I remember this quote. When I read this quote I thought it symbolized the reasons I wanted to become a doctor. This quote continues to remind me of why I have chosen this profession. I had an extremely rough day yesterday. We had a young child come into the ER severely injured and we had to life flight him out. Yesterday this quote came to mind as I was thinking about the events of yesterday afternoon and evening. As the boy was wheeled out I was able to put my arms around the boy's arm and try and comfort her. Today we found out that this boy was miraculously alive. Through yesterday's sadness and other events this week I am reminded of the opportunity I have to minister to my patients and their families.    

As Christians we are called to live of lives like this as well. We are to be God's hands and feet. We need to find ways to minister to our friends, family and co-workers who are struggling. We need to promote life, Life through Christ. We are called to weep with our brothers and sisters when they are struggling. Nothing ministers more to people that a Christian who knows, hope and life coming alongside of someone who is suffering. 

Traditionally Shalom is thought to mean peace, while it does mean peace it means much more than that. Shalom comes front he verb, shalom which means, complete, perfect, and full. It also is related to the Hebrew word, Shelem, which means to pay for and Shulam which means fully paid. As Christians, our sin has been paid in full by the blood of Christ. The bible tells us that God gives us peace that surpasses all understanding. I challenge you today to search for Shalom in your life and in the lives of other people. The peace that we are given as Christians makes us complete, fully and lacking in nothing. 

Faith like a Child

This month is Childhood Cancer Awareness month. This month there will be walks, runs, and ceremonies held to honor and remember those children who have fought this terrible disease. You will see commercials on TV featuring these children. One of the specialities I have thought about going into is Pediatric Oncology. I am inspired by the resilience these children show in their fight. Their families challenge me in my faith. I feel called to help those in their most desperate time of need. While I'm not sure yet if pediatric oncology is the speciality God has called me to,  these families still hold a special place in  my heart.

I'm sure many of you have know a child or family who has been touched by childhood cancer. I know two. I've written about their mother's before, but today I would like to share more of their story. Over the past year these families have demonstrated their faith in God and love for each other. I have grown in my faith by watching these families struggle through this journey. Here is their story.

The story begins August 3, 2010. Richard Lee, 3 years old,  was diagnosed with a Wilms Tumor. A Wilms Tumor is a kidney tumor in young children. It usually found in children around age 3. Richard Lee's parents bought him to the emergency room because he had not being feeling well. They left with a cancer diagnosis. They discovered that the cancer had spread to his abdomen and lungs. Over the next 9 days Richard Lee would undergo surgery to remove his kidney and to put in a port for his chemo treatments. He would also begin receiving his first treatments. Over the next several months he would undergo radiation and chemo treatments. Our church rallied around his family and his family called on the Lord. Over the next year I would see an amazing example of what it means to have faith in God. His mother, Nancy, choose to rejoice in God no matter what each day brought. She rejoiced eat day she got to spend with her son and her other children. She said that each day was a gift from God. This really challenged me in my own walk with the Lord. There were many days when school was tough and I would find myself complaining. After seeing this example in Nancy I decided to do the same. I choose to see each day as a gift from God. I choose to rejoice in the day that He had given me to matter what happened.

Andrew was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia on June 2, 2011. ALL is the most common form of childhood leukemia. Andrew has a favorable type. Andrew had a port placed and began chemo. I babysat Andrew since he was a baby. I'm very close with his mother Amy. Amy and her husband Warren were leaders in the youth group when I was a teenager. Amy has been a mentor of mine for years and has become a very close friend and sister in Christ. A friend called and told me about Andrew and I immediately headed to the Children's hospital at St. Francis. When Amy opened the door and saw me standing there, she said she wasn't surprised to see me. It was an amazing experience for me to be able to minister to this sweet friend of mine. It was like things had been reversed. Yet in those moments while Amy needed to be ministered to, she continued to minister to my heart. She told me she didn't know what the future held, but she knew that the Lord was in control. Throughout the summer Andrew was in and out of the hospital for fevers. He was able to start 4th grade and spend some time in class before becoming a homebound student for awhile. Andrew continues with his treatment. His treatment will go on for the next 3 years.

Andrew and Richard Lee's families were very close before their boys became sick. They have remained close and ministered to each other in this time of need. The families have chosen to put God first in their lives. They are raising boys that know that God is in control. The have chosen to walk by faith. They don't know what the future holds for them or their boys, but they do know that the lives of RIchard Lee and Andrew are in God's hands. While in the hospital last August, Richard Lee said "God made me special." Those are sweet words to hear from a three year old. You see Richard Lee gets it, God made him special, just like God makes all of us special. Children have a special place in God's heart. When children came to Jesus the disciples tried to make them leave, but Jesus told them to let the children come to Him. Isaiah 11is a prophecy about the coming of the Messiah. It says that a little child will lead them. All though this passage specifically speaks of Christ's coming, it has application to our lives. Jesus said that the kingdom belonged to the Children. He went on to say that you have to have the faith of a child to enter the kingdom of Heaven. When Christ said this he didn't mean that we don't grow up in our faith, but he is referring to the blind faith that children have. Children will believe what you tell them. They don't seek for you to prove to it them. In our society many people want a scientific experiment to prove the existence of God. The faith of a child is one of the sweetest things. Today my challenge is that you have the faith of a child. The faith that can say God made me special when you don't feel special. Faith that can withstand the wind, rain, and storms that come.

"God made me special"

Richard Lee

If you are interested in helping fight childhood cancer here are some events that are happening this month:
1. Join me and Richard Lee and Andrew's families this Saturday as we walk for CureSearch. CureSearch is a nationwide program that works with current pediatric oncology research. We are walking to raise money for this. Registration starts at 8am by Memorial High School. Here's the website for more info:  http://blba.us/i.asp?id=476447
-334350937-1

2. This next Monday September 26, Chili's will be donating all the profit for the day to St, Jude's Research Hospital. You can also visit chilis.com for more information on how to donate to St. Jude

In Christ there are no Underdogs

Last night in my quite time I was reading the story of David and Goliath. David was just a teenager. He was small compared to Goliath and had no official warrior training. But David didn't need warrior training, God had prepared David for the task of defeating Goliath for many years. David had fought against wild animals to keep his father's sheep safe. But more important than David's experience as a shepard, David trusted in God. David knew that his power didn't lie in himself, but in God. David knew that although he may not be big enough in his own strength to defeat the giant, he could defeat Goliath through the strength that the Lord gave him. On that day David wanted to show all of Israel and the Philistines that his God was the God that saved.

Many times in my life I struggle with being confident. You see I know that the Lord has called me to be a doctor, but at times I struggle with turning complete control of this over to the Lord. During undergrad there were times I stressed and worried about getting into med school. The Lord keep reminding me that He has called me to this, to do my part study hard, and that He was going to see that He accomplished this in me. The Lord continues to remind me of this everyday. This month I'm working in a clinic in Mannford. This is the first rotation that I've been making physical diagnoses and working with making a plan for my patients.  Last week I was really nervous to say what I thought the patient might I have. I was really hard on myself. I know that this is suppose to be a learning experience and I don't have to have all the answers, but I also know that the Lord has blessed me with the knowledge to arrive at answers. I am reminded each day that the Lord will accomplish this task in me.

 You see many times I feel like David facing Goliath, but I'm not as quick as David was to claim the power of God like David did. I'm sure many of you face your own giants each day. I think that many times as women we struggle with being confident in ourselves. I'm not talking about being prideful, but being confident with the gifts, talents, and passions the Lord has given you. God has blessed each and everyone of you with something special. As Christians the Lord has called us all to something, whether it be a homemaker, a teacher, a doctor, a lawyer...I could go on but I think you get the idea. He desires for us to use the gifts, talents and passions He has given us. Part of being strong women, is being confident in ourselves. In Christ there is no underdog. Through Christ, we are able to be strong. The deceiver tries to limit us and tell us that we are not good enough so that we don't accomplish the will of God in our lives, but we have the power of Christ. In our battle against our giants of doubt, fear, and unworthiness, our weapon is the power of the Lord God Almighty.

"David said to the Philistine, ‘You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied'"

1 Samuel 17:45

So ladies in our struggle to have confidence in ourselves, we have the power of Christ, but we also have each other. Strong women have to stick together. It is vital that we encourage our sisters in Christ to be Stout Women. Today's devotional was about David and Jonathan. When you think about friendships in the bible I'm sure one story that comes to mind is that of David and Jonathan. David and Jonathan had a deep bond. Jonathan realized that the Lord had chosen David to have the throne and Jonathan accepted that. Jonathan saved David's life from Saul, when could have easily had David killed and taken the throne from himself. David returned the favor by brining Jonathan's son into his home after Jonathan was killed. This friendship flourished because both of these men had a relationship with the Lord. These are the types of relationships we need to build as women. A British publication had a contest to find who could come up with the best definition of a friend. Here are the top five responses:

•             "one who multiplies joy, divides grief, and whose honesty is inviolable"

•             "one who understands our silence"

•             "A volume of sympathy bound in cloth"

•             "A watch that  beats true for all time and never runs down"

•             And the winning definition: " a friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out"

Do you have someone who is there when no one else is? I'm sure some of you have spouses who are there like that, but do you also have another woman who is there for you when no one else is. I challenge you to have a friend who's stands by you through thick and thin. Do you have someone who will inspire you to once again have confidence in yourself when you don't? Do you have that friend who challenges you to be a Stout woman that is brave, bold, determined, obstinate, uncompromising, sturdy, vigorous, staunch, enduring?

" Being confident of this that He who began a good work in you, will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" 

Philippians 1:6

Seize the Day

I was sitting in Mr. Coughlin's Old Testament class at Bishop Kelley and Mr. O'Brien (now Fr. O'Brien) came in and whispered something to my teacher. Mr Coughlin turned the TV on and told us that 2 planes had flown into the World Trade Center in New York City. In disbelief, we as the towers fell. We then went to an all school mass, where the principal told the whole school what happened. I don't remember learning much in school that day. We watched the news in several classes. I do remember ending football practice with one of the seniors Tony Scardino leading us in prayer. Tony sat out his senior year in football to rehab his knee injury so he could join the Marines. For the rest of the games that season Tony lead the team onto the field carrying an American flag.

Where were you on that day? What were you doing? This next week marks the 10th anniversary of 9/11, a day that forever changed us.  The next year would prove to be a difficult year for many people. Many struggled with grief over losing a loved one in the attacks. Many struggled with survivors guilt wondering why their life had been spared. Most of us were scared at what the future held. The first year following 9/11 would prove to be a trying year for me, but in a different way.

Our church like many others opened their doors that Tuesday evening for a time of prayer. For myself and many others at church this would not be the last time that we gathered in that sanctuary for prayer. Shortly after the attack on the World Trade Center, my youth minister Andy was diagnosed with Leukemia. He began treatment in January 2002. Andy reminded our youth group the night before his treatment began that God has a plan for our lives. He shared Jeremiah 29:11 with his. He told us that he was not scared about what the future held, because he knew that God was in control. In May of 2002, Andy was not doing well. Again the church opened its doors one night. Our youth group and other church members came to the church to pray. We prayed and begged God that He would see Andy through the night, and he did. On May 28, 2002, God called Andy home. It was so hard for our youth group, we so longed for an earthly healing, but God had a bigger and better plan. He brought Andy complete and total healing in the next life. God continued to use Andy. Andy had challenged us to bring an unsaved friend to summer camp. Many students did and people came to know the Lord because their friend invited them to summer camp. Most of all Andy taught us a life lesson that is hard for us to understand. Andy taught us about trusting in God for everything. He challenged us not worry about our future, because God has a plan and His plan is perfect. Andy was a godly man who trusted in the Lord with all his heart.

"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future"

Jeremiah 29:11

Life has changed a lot since 9/11/01. There are many things that have become the "norm". I am moved by the first responders that ran to the buildings that day while everyone else ran away. We have seen men and women continue to serve in the military past original contracts as well as men and women join after 9/11 with the nation at war. But what inspires me the most, is the stories of the everyday people just living life. The Todd Beamers and those who helped him over power the terrorists on United Flight 93. These men and women inspire us to not accept defeat, to not allow the terrorists to rule our lives, and to do something. They inspire us to serve our communities and each other, may their sacrifice not be in vain.

So I challenge you this next week, to serve others and reach out to your neighbor. May we honor those who gave their lives to save others by do something for the greater good. May we honor the memory of everyone who lost their lives that day by laying aside our political backgrounds and uniting as Americans to remember. May we honor the men and women of the military by flaming the patriotism that was so evident in the days following 9/11. Fly your flags. Hold a door open for someone. Smile at someone you pass on the street. Buy a co-worker or friend lunch just because.  Don't rush through your day. Take time to be thankful for the freedom and safety we enjoy. Spend time with your family. Hug your children. Don't waste your life. Seize the day. Live in the moment. Take risks. Always be thankful for each day you have.

"Freedom makes a huge requirement of every human being. With freedom comes responsibility. For the person who is unwilling to grow up, the person who does not want to carry is own weight, this is a frightening prospect"

Eleanor Roosevelt

"Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same."
Ronald Reagan

"The momentum of freedom in our world is unmistakable - and it is not carried forward by our power alone. We can trust in that greater power Who guides the unfolding of the years. And in all that is to come, we can know that His purposes are just and true."

George W. Bush

"If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other."

Mother Teresa

"And so, my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country. "

John F. Kennedy

His Timing, not ours

Okay, so I usually don't have time to have two posts in 1 week, especially lately, but I got the following email from my brother Stephen and I wanted to share. As many of you know Stephen was in a terrible accident about a year and a half ago. The Lord continues to use this experience to teach us of his incredible timing and providence.


Here's the e-mail:
Brad just introduced me to a long time friend of his, Dennis Cagwin.  He and Dennis were eating lunch today and got to talking about auto accidents.  Dennis began telling Brad about an accident he witnessed where he was one of the first on the scene.  As he started telling the story, Brad realized the accident was mine.  It turns out, Dennis is one of the two whose names is on the police report.  He was behind me and saw everything transpire.  He said I was in the far left inside lane going around the curve.  Traffic was slowing down in the left and middle lane so I moved across those two lanes to the right hand lane.  However, a semitruck had stalled.  He said I had only about 15 feet to stop before I hit the truck.  He was in the middle lane and came to a stop right beside me.  He said a man got into my car before he did.  Dennis called 911.  He asked the man in the car if I was alive so he could tell 911.  That man got out of my car and left, and Dennis went and got in my back seat and talked to me until the fire truck arrived.  He said he just told me it was going to be okay and tried to keep me awake.  He said the firetruck got there in like 2.5 minutes.  He said they had me on the way to the hospital in 25 minutes.  He said he was impressed with how well the firemen worked.  He said one time a sawzaw battery went out and another was right there with one to replace it.  He said my seat was upright, and the back of the truck was right in my chest.  He said my face was just flat and my teeth were pushed back.  He said the only way he could tell I was alive was when they put the oxygen mask on my face he saw it fog up and then go away.  He said he texted his wife when he saw that to tell her "He is alive".  His truck was trapped in the traffic and so he sat in his car and watched the firemen cut me out.  He said he asked the firemen how he could find out if I was alright, and they told him there was no way to do so.  He told me he was so glad that I am alive.  He gave me his business card and said he wanted to go to lunch some time.  Brad said Dennis is a big Jesus guy and told him I was too, so he wanted us to meet.  He said they have been friends for 15 years or so.


Brad is Stephen's boss at HICORP.  On Wednesday we will celebrate Stephen's 30th birthday. Tonight we had a surprise birthday party for my brother. This morning my mom and I picked up the cake from a family friend and we told her the story about Stephen's e-mail. Her eyes filled with tears. She said she was just happy to be able to make Stephen's birthday cake. It made all of a little teary eyed. It reminded me of how good God is. I've been talking about new beginnings a lot lately on here. God gave Stephen a new outlook on life after his accident. He enjoys sharing his story and living for God's plans in his life.  I'm so happy that I get to celebrate this birthday with my brother. 

Every time you cross my mind, I break out in exclamations of thanks to God. Each exclamation is a trigger to prayer. I find myself praying for you with a glad heart. I am so pleased that you have continued on in this with us, believing and proclaiming God's Message, from the day you heard it right up to the present. There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears

Philippians 1:3-6 (The Message)

All Things New

As I mentioned in last week's blog I'm driving to Muskogee everyday for my psych rotations. As I've mentioned last week I've been using my mornings to pray and reflect. I've really enjoyed my morning time just me and God driving down the road. It prepares me for the day ahead and the challenges that I may face. Last week in choir I mentioned to the ladies during prayer time that the drive was really getting to me and I was getting worn out by driving to Muskogee everyday. They encouraged me to spend this time in prayer. While I had been using the first few minutes of my drive to pray I had yet to use the entire drive to pray and worship the Lord as I drove. I decided to take their advice. So for the last week I've been praying and worshiping the Lord. 

Again this morning I was watching the sunrise as I drove. It was beautiful this morning. This morning I was listening to Watermark's All Things New. If you've never heard this song, you should listen to it on youtube. In the chorus its says that "because of who You are and who I am in You, You make all things New." Again I was reminded that God is the one that makes everything new. This was so encouraging this morning. It has been a long week on the psych unit. We have had several patients that are really sick and I have worked hard. This was so encouraging to hear this morning that because God is who He is and that He loves us He makes things new. The Bible talks about how God makes us new. We have the promise of not only a new life in Christ on this earth, but new life in Christ when we die. 

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come The old has gone, the new is here! 

2nd Corinthians 5:17

So many times as Christians, especially as women we forget that we have been created new in Christ. We have new beginnings. As women sometimes, we tend to dwell on our "imperfections," the things in our lives that are unbecoming that we don't take pride in. While it is important to be repentant of our sins we tend to think less of ourselves. We hide who we truly are.  Ladies, you are beautiful on the inside and outside. God has a special plan for your life. He plans to use your flaws, imperfections, and things that you just don't like about yourself. He desires to take the the hurts and bruises from life and turn them into a beautiful masterpiece if we will only will trust Him with out. 

You see stout woman aren't afraid to be made into new beautiful masterpieces. They aren't afraid to be vulnerable before their Lord.  I think of the story of the woman at the well. This Samaritan woman is a perfect example of how Christ makes things new. Let me "sarahpharse" the story. Jesus and his disciples had been out ministering to others and sharing the Good News. They stopped in Samaria. To the Jews, Samaria was where "those people, those sinners" lived. The disciples went into town and Jesus waited at the well. This woman (one of those people) came to draw some water and Jesus asked for some. She knew that Jesus was a Jew and Jews didn't talk with her "kind." Long story short Jesus shared with her how he could change her life. That He and only He could take away her sins and make her new. I believe Jesus was also saying to this woman, "be My daughter, be the daughter of The King, let me make you new, let me take your imperfections, your "beauty flaws" and your hurts and make you into a beautiful masterpiece.  Now I know that not all of our stories are just like hers. But we just like are filled with our own hidden sins, flaws, and hurts and we just liked that woman need to answer Christ's call...to be the daughter of a King. 

For you created my inmost being you knit me together in my mother’s womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,  I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body;    all the days ordained for me were written in your book    before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them,they would outnumber the grains of sands when I awake, I am still with you.

Psalms 139:13-18

Sunrises and Harvests

This month I'm traveling to Muskogee everyday for my psych rotation. I leave Tulsa about 630 in the morning. I get to watch the sunrise every morning. If you don't know this Oklahoma has some of the most beautiful sunrises. Everyday sunrise is different. I enjoy watching the sunrises every morning. It is a great way to start my day. It is a worshipful and relaxing time to watch the sunrise. It really prepares me for my day. Just as each day begins with a new sunrise, each day is new for us and comes with new opportunities. It reminds me that even if we made mistakes or go through trials the day before we have a new day to try again.

I'm reminded of Ruth. Ruth is my favorite woman in the bible. I know I've mentioned her before. Ruth had moved to Bethlehem with her mother-in-law after her husband died. Both Ruth and Naomi were in mourning over their husbands' death when the arrived. The last verse in the first chapter of Ruth says that they arrived just as the harvest was beginning. The harvest is a sign of new life and new beginnings, just like the sunrises I watch every morning.

We are given new life in Christ when we become Christians. We are given an everlasting life, free from sin and death like I talked about last week. God knows we aren't perfect and that even as Christians we are human and have sinful nature, so in his infinite mercy He gives us new beginnings when we make mistakes.

Sunrises also remind us that a new day is coming. As Christians we are not free from the trials of life. But we do have a heavenly Father that is with us every step of the way. It can be pretty dark in the mornings when I leave. The sunrises usually start with rays of sun coming through the clouds and breaking the darkness. This reminds me that sometimes in our trials we don't think we can see the end but God starts to show us His light at just the right time.

I would like to conclude my writing briefly about two "Stout" women who live their life looking for the sunrises and believing in new life, new beginnings, and new days. My friends Amy and Nancy from church have been great examples of faith to me over the last year. Last August Nancy's 3 year old son was diagnosed with a Wilms tumor. Over the past year Nancy has chosen to trust God for His mercy, she has chosen to praise the Lord and let others know that her son's life is in God's hands. She has inspired me to do the same. Amy has been a mentor and friend for years. Her son was diagnosed with Leukemia in May. She  has chosen to seek the Lords face and trust in Him for her son's care. I'm honored to call these ladies friends and mentors.

So this week look for the Sunrises in your life. Do you have new life in Christ? Do see the ways God gives you new beginnings? Do see the sun breaking through the clouds of your life?

So Naomi returned from Moab accompanied by Ruth the Moabite, her daughter-in-law, arriving in Bethlehem as the barley harvest was beginning 

Ruth 1:22

Home of the Free because of the Brave Part 2: Freedom is not Free

As I was driving home yesterday from work, I drove through Porter, Oklahoma. It was refreshing to see the American flag flying from porches and in front yards. It reminded me of a time right after 9-11 you would pass through neighborhoods and see the flag flying. It was refreshing to see people be patriotic. Last Friday the American military suffered its greatest lost in the Afghan wars since it began in 2001. 30 members of the military were killed when there helicopter was shot down. These men were headed to help Army rangers in a fight against the Taliban. Across Oklahoma flags fly at half-staff to honor the men Oklahomans' have lost in Afghanistan. Last week we lost 4 Oklahoma soldiers from the 45th Infantry Division.  The events of the last week remind me that freedom is not free. Our freedom as Americans was brought with a price. We are able to say that we live in the land of the free because of the men and women that have fought for our country and because same gave the ultimate sacrifice. As Americans we should remember the 30 lost last week, but let us not forget to remember those who continue to give the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom. I challenge those that have a flag to fly it in honor of military this week and in memory of those who give the ultimate sacrifice to keep us safe.

In the same way that our freedom as Americans is not free we must remember that we are offered freedom in Christ and this freedom is not free. This freedom from sin and death was bought with a price. It was bought with the blood of Christ on the cross. Throughout the old testament they had to offer blood sacrifices to cover the people's sins. With Christ's death on the cross we no longer have to offer blood sacrifices to cover our sins. Christ made the ultimate sacrifice on Calvary so that we could have ultimate freedom. This freedom that is better than the freedom we have as Americans. It is a freedom that can be universal to all who accept. Freedom to have eternal life through Christ.

"It is for Freedom that Christ set us Free. Stand firm, then and do not let yourselves be burdened again by the yoke of Slavery" 

Galatians 5:1

Land of the Free because of the Brave

Monday concluded my BOLC training experience. This past month I have had fun, I have worked hard, and I have done things that thought I would never do. I have come away from this experience realizing that I am apart of something bigger than myself. Granted there have been frustrating times this month, but I can honestly say that I love the Army and what I'm going to get to do. 

Our last week in the field was spent practicing the three levels of care used in the battle field. IT was a good week. It brought the information taught in class to life. During the first round of the exercise at level 3 I was a patient. This was an interesting experience and reminded me that I need to remember what my patients may be going through. I was a radio operator for our level 1 unit. I had to work with the person in charge of evacuating patients and radio into to evac the patients that we had. In level two I worked as a part of the treatment team.  The night before we did level 2, we had rain so they were able to use pyrotechnics. They simulated a bombing on the FOB. This was an interesting experience because we had to take cover and be prepared to cover our patients. I was in charge of covering a patient if we had one at our station at the time of a "bombing". I find myself being more excited about future deployments than I was before I came to BOLC. As an AMEDD officer my job is to bring soldier's home to their families. Now that I've seen how care works in theater. I want to go save lives. I want to continue to be a part of something bigger than myself. I want to go knowing that I could be a part of bring a soldier home to his or her family. 

As I said at the beginning of my post I learned this month that I was apart of something bigger than myself. The Army is a family in and of itself. Over the past month I have made many friends. Many of these friends I consider life-long. I spent many hours with my new friends on post, on the FOB, and doing laundry. We have learned to help each other and support each other through this month of training. Monday my friends and I gave hugs and wished each other safe travels. All around me people were hugging their new friends. I know we will keep in contact and it is honoring to me to think that one day I could serve down range with these people. I would be honored to serve along side the men and women I have worked with this past month. You should be honored to know that these men and women have volunteered their time not just to take care of fighting men and women but to serve you the American people and to be soldiers. 

Throughout the training it was emphasized that we were soldiers first, officers second and AMEDD last in that line. I'm a very proud to say that I am a solider in the United States Army. During graduation we recited the soldiers creed. It gave me chills to hear the other 580 voices I trained with this month recite this in unison. It reminds me of my purpose. This past month I have realized that I am a part of something bigger. I am a member of a team and family, a family that extends all across the United States. I am confident in myself. The Soldiers Creed is the best way that I could find to sum up my month at BOLC. 

The Soldier's Creed

I am an American Soldier

I am a warrior and a member of a team. 

I serve the people of the United States and live the Army Values

 I will always place the mission first

I will never accept defeat

I will never quit

I will never leave a fallen comrade

I am disciplined, physically, and mentally tough, trained and proficient, in my warrior tasks and drills.

I will always maintain my arms, my equipment, and myself. I am and expert and a professional

I stand ready to deploy, engage and destroy the enemies of the United States of American in close combat.

I am a guardian of freedom and the American way of life.

I am an American Soldier

Hunting the Good Stuff in Life

Friday night we got back from our second week of FTX. We have one more FTX left. This next one is 3 and 1/2 days. During next week's FTX we will be doing our specific AMEDD Training. This week we learned more about the different levels of medical care in the military. Next week we will have an opportunity to execute  three of the five level. Level one is known as the BAS Battalion Aid Station. Which reminds me of a short digression that I must take at this point. Since joining the military I've learned that there are abbreviations for everything. Not only are there abbreviations for everything in the Army you talk in abbreviations. lt has taken some getting used to and googling to figure out what each abbreviation means. Today during our Master Resilence Training there was even an abbreviation for Put it in Perspective (PIIP). Okay so now off the rabbit trail and back to this week. The BAS is the first level of care. At this level on the from lines of combat you see your medics as well as a MAS (Main Aid Station) and a FAS (Forward Aid Station). The MAS consists of a doc and 3 medics and the FAS consists of a PA and 3 medics or as the Army likes to call medics 68W (68-Wisky's). The main objective of level 1 care is to treat the soldier and get them back to duty or evacuated. The Level 2 has some lab capabilities as well as XRay and a patient holding areas. Level 3 is the combat support hospital (CSH). Major procedures are done at this area. Next week I will play the role of an ICU nurse in our CSH simulation. Level 4 is similar to a hospital in Germany. Level 5 is a treatment facility here in the states such as Brook Army Medical Center here at Fort Sam.

This week during our FTX we were tested over various tasks introduced during the first FTX. Tuesday we went on a land navigation. We had to find 3/4 points and we had three hours to do it. My partner and I couldn't find out last point so we made it back to the FOB and passed with 3/4 points. On Wednesday we did the convoy lane. I was the alpha team leader for our truck. This was a lot of fun we had blanks in our M16 and some of classmates played the role of the OPFORCE. WE had to get out of our trucks and simulate what we would do to check for IEDs in a real convoy. My side of the truck had a gigantic hill we had to climb. Again this experience made me appreciate our men and women currently serving in the military as well as our veterans. I thought about a Jeff Shara book I read about the Battle of Gettysburg. We were able to come back down from the hill and climb in our trucks and were back at the FOB within two hours from our practice convoy. Gettysburg is a hilly place and I thought about the soldiers who climb those hills and tried to hold the "good" ground. After the battle was over there was no truck for them to climb back in they had to keep on walking. On Thursday we had a patrol through the woods. We had to go and rescue one of our squad members and bring them back to safety. I was "shot" during this mission and my squad had to also bring me back to the holding area. They did a good job.

On Friday we went on the Spree the Core run. Basically we ran around the land nav course. We had to run up this giant hill with rocks that were slipping out of place. We did this run at 0500 in the dark and couldn't see very well where we were running. Unfortunately on the way down I slipped and twisted my knee and was picked up and added to what turned out to be 9 "causalities" of the run. I'm feeling much better but was frustrated that I didn't make it all the way to the end. I did make it to the top of the hill and that felt good. Later in the day we went to the gas chamber. My gas mask's seal was not working properly and as soon as I entered I had to leave because I couldn't breath. My battle buddies and myself joked about how it was just not my day. During this frustrating day I was reminded that God was with me throughout this day just like he has been with me throughout the month and everyday of my life.

As I thought about yesterday I realized that in our lives we have mountains and hills to climb just like that rocky hill Friday.  At the time it may seem impossible. Even knowing that a hard hill to climb lies ahead makes us nervous and scared. It makes us question our abilities. I wasn't able to run up all the hills we had to Friday, but I walked and made it to the top. There are times in our lives when the road is tough and we struggle to see the other side.  Sometimes as we are traveling we can't see where we are going either. It is in these moments that we learn to trust God and to lean on his provision for our lives. The bible tells us that God doesn't give us more than we can handle. As Christians we place our faith in Christ that He will lead us where we are suppose to go. Sometimes we don't see the purpose behind the struggle until its over. Sometimes we have to make it to the top of the mountain to see the good things that the Lord has for us. Many times the journey to the top of the mountain is a struggle much in the way that we struggled to make it to the top of that hill Friday morning.  When I got tot the top of the hill I could see all of camp Bullis and the city lights of San Antonio. It was beautiful. We have seen this Camp Bullis sky many times over the past two weeks. The moon is beautiful early in the morning, you can see clouds streak across the sky in the last hours before the sun rises.  It reminds me that there is much more to this world than me. I've been thinking about how vast the world appeared on that hill Friday morning and how small I am compared to that vastness, yet the Father, the Creator knows me. Psalms 139 talks about how God knows us. I am also reminded that many times when we can only see what is in front of us the good stuff lies just ahead. A the top of the hills and mountains in our lives we are able to the Lord in his beauty and majesty. We are able to see the intrinsic plans the Lord has for us. I rejoice in the day that I will be in heaven with Christ and able to look back on all the valleys I walked and the hills I climbed to see the whole picture of Gods masterpiece that he is creating in me.

Saturday we had Master Resiliency Training. One of the aspects of this was to hunt for the good stuff in life. Many times we are become negative and complacent with our lives. By looking for the good and trying to focus on the good we can change our outlook in life. In closing I would like to share my hunting for the good stuff for today.
1. I found out Friday night that I passed by first set of boards.
2. I have made wonderful friends here at BOLC.
3. My family will be here this coming weekend.
4. We have 3.5 days left in the field.
5. I have been given joy. Joy that is better happiness. Because even we times are difficult and we don't feel "happiness" as Christians we have something that resides deep in our souls. The ability to say it is well with my soul no matter what comes my way. God is in control.

Psalm 139 

¹ You have searched me, LORD, 

   and you know me.  

² You know when I sit and when I rise; 

   you perceive my thoughts from afar. 

³ You discern my going out and my lying down; 

   you are familiar with all my ways. 

⁴ Before a word is on my tongue 

   you, LORD, know it completely. 

⁵ You hem me in behind and before, 

   and you lay your hand upon me. 

⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, 

   too lofty for me to attain.

 ⁷ Where can I go from your Spirit? 

   Where can I flee from your presence? 

⁸ If I go up to the heavens, you are there; 

   if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. 

⁹ If I rise on the wings of the dawn, 

   if I settle on the far side of the sea, 

¹⁰ even there your hand will guide me, 

   your right hand will hold me fast. 

¹¹ If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me 

   and the light become night around me,” 

¹² even the darkness will not be dark to you; 

   the night will shine like the day, 

   for darkness is as light to you.

 ¹³ For you created my inmost being; 

   you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 

¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; 

   your works are wonderful, 

   I know that full well. 

¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you 

   when I was made in the secret place, 

   when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 

¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body; 

   all the days ordained for me were written in your book 

   before one of them came to be. 

¹⁷ How precious to me are your thoughts,God! 

   How vast is the sum of them! 

¹⁸ Were I to count them, 

   they would outnumber the grains of sand— 

   when I awake, I am still with you.

 ¹⁹ If only you, God, would slay the wicked! 

   Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty! 

²⁰ They speak of you with evil intent; 

   your adversaries misuse your name. 

²¹ Do I not hate those who hate you, LORD, 

   and abhor those who are in rebellion against you? 

²² I have nothing but hatred for them; 

   I count them my enemies. 

²³ Search me, God, and know my heart; 

   test me and know my anxious thoughts. 

²⁴ See if there is any offensive way in me, 

   and lead me in the way everlasting.