Shalom

Tomorrow will be my last day of what is known as Core around OSU-CHS. Basically what that means is 4 months in the hospital...one month of OB/Gyn, one month of surgery and 2 months of internal medicine. My internal medicine months consisted of teaching service on a general medical floor and a month of ICU. As you can probably see this is why I haven't had the time to update my blog very often. Over the past four months I've learned a lot. I've gotten to help delivery some babies, assist in several surgeries, and see a lot of different pathology. I've learned a lot of the past few months that will help pass my boards. I've seen a lot of pathology and have been able to see the practical aspects of the things I had read in books over the last two years. But probably the most important things I have learned aren't not things that books teach or things that I need to pass boards, or even what medications and treatments to used to treat certain pathologies. These lessons can only be taught by getting to know my patients and walking with them through their disease process.

In the past I have shared the following quote that was in an article I had to read my freshman year at OBU. It sums what means to be a doctor to me.

" To promote life, not death; health, not sickness; to suffer and counsel with those who suffer; to care compassionately when one cannot cure; and to be a part of God's presence in the valley of the Shadow of Death, in short to search for Shalom"

I decided when I was a sophomore in high school to become a doctor. I wanted to become a doctor because I wanted to help people. I loved science and working as a student trainer gave me a passion for medicine. It was exciting as a high school student to work with an athlete who had injured themselves and help them rehab and then see them back playing in the game they loved. As a medical student I have had the opportunity to examine a patient and come up with a diagnosis and a plan of treatment. Today one of my patients that I have taken care of over the last month passed away. Over the past month I have watched as this sweet lady has had ups and downs. Her case bought up many questions that reminded me of the quote above. Sometimes do physicians promote life so much that they promote suffering? Are we adequate advocates for our patients? Do we care compassionately enough? After our patient coded (her heart stopped) today our attending physician (the boss) talked with her husband and it was decided that we would not code her again if her heart stopped again. One of my friends that I've been working with this month called me a little while ago to let me know that my patient had passed away. I had gotten to go early so I wasn't there, but she told me that after they removed the life support per the family's request the family left because they did not want to see her die. My friend and another student stayed in the room with the patient and held her hand as she died. This afternoon after we finished the code I held her hand and said it was going to be okay. Today I really learned what it means to be God's presence in the valley of the shadow of death. I feel that we did everything we could for our patient that we did our best to sustain her life and bring her back to good health. We counseled with her family and held this sweet lady's hand every time we saw her. I believe that we searched for peace for her. You see for those of us that our Christians, death is not the end it is only the beginning. I believe that my patient went from her hospital bed to the arms of Jesus. 

I hope that in my future as a physician I can live out this quote. I pray that I will be a physician that seeks to promote life. I pray that I not only just promote life, but  I seek quality life for my patients and I pray more importantly that I can point them to a fulfilled life in Christ. I pray that I promote health, not only physical and mental health, but spiritual health as well. I pray that I will counsel with my patients and come along side of them and comfort them while they suffer. I pray that I will always care compassionately for my patients, including those that are hard to be compassionate with.  I pray that like today I can be God's presence in my patients lives through death and life. I pray that I will seek peace not only in my patients lives but in my life. Philippians 4:6-7 is one of my favorite verses it says:

"Be anxious in nothing, but in everything, with prayer and thanksgiving present your requests to God and the PEACE of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Philippians 4:6-7

It is so reassuring to me to know that by turning everything over to our Father he grants us peace. The peace he give us is greater than all our understanding. When we are lost for words or reasons things happen we are guarded with the peace of Christ. 

"Know that the Lord is God. It is he who made us, and we are his people, the sheep of His pasture. Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise; give thanks to him for the Lord is good and His love endures forever; His faithfulness continues through all generations"

Psalm 100:3-5

Heir to the Kingdom

So its been quite a while since I last posted. Core rotation is getting the best of me, I hope after this month I'll be able to post more regularly. Last month I was on teaching service for Internal medicine. This month I'm on ICU and its proving to be quite the experience. Todays post is short but comes from the heart. Today was my first "code" to participate in. I have never done CPR on a real person before today. It is a very interesting experience that is hard to explain to those who haven't experienced it. I can tell you that my arms hurt from giving compressions and my back hurts from bending over the bed to hold the doopler in place while we checked for a pulse.  This morning we saved our patients life but her medical condition is so fragile she won't be on this earth much longer. It reminds of just how quickly our lives can change and the importance of knowing where we will be when we breath our last breath in this life.

As Christians we have hope in death because for us death is not the end but its the beginning. When we give our lives to Christ He welcomes us into his kingdom when we die. This evening I was reading Psalms 8. It talks about God creation and our place in that creation.

"What is man that you are mindful for him, the son of man that you care for him? You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor."

Psalm 8:4

In Genesis 1-2 we read that God created man (male and female) not only in his image, but he put man over the rest of his creation. It is more than I can fathom at times when I take the time to think of it that God loves us, humankind so much that He would give us power over his creation. It amazes me even more that the same God who is the creator of all loves us enough to also offer us a spot in His kingdom. You see when we become Christians, we become heirs to the kingdom of God. As heirs that means have a part in the reign of Christ and we are entitled to the inheritance of eternal life that cannot be taken away from us.  We have the opportunity to see Christ's kingdom come to fruition.

David's words in this Psalm express my feelings towards Christ's love for us. Many times I wonder who am I that You love me enough not only to all me reign in Your creation but You offer me adoption as a daughter and to reign with You in Your heavenly kingdom, and that You offer me eternal life through your soon Jesus. The bible tells us that we are all sinners that we all have fallen short of the glory of God. But in His great Mercy and Love has offered us a free gift, grace, He has offered to pay for our sin, the sin that He himself cannot stand. So I challenge all that read this blog if you have not given your life to Christ to do so. God loves you just the way you are and he has given you a place in His kingdom you just have to ask for it. What will happen to you when you breath your last breath in this life? Will you enter into hell to suffer forever for not accepting the free gift of Jesus Christ, or will you breathe your first breath in eternity with Christ?

You may be asking what is so special about being with Christ? Christ's love for me has given me a renewed spirit and strength to face the day. Psalm 8 and 104 go on to talk about God's creation more and how he cares for the birds of the field and the grass. He makes sure the lions have their food to eat. In Matthew we are told not to worry because God will take care of us.

 ²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life^[e]?

   ²⁸ “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? ³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:25-34

You see so many times in our lives we worry we fret about things that we can't control. Because of my relationship with Christ I am able to turn these things over to Him and live free of them. Granted its a daily battle for me. I have to continually give my worries and anxiety and my life to Christ. But when i do I'm reminded that the peace of God will be with me. It allows me to do my part in fulfilling what God has called me it. Turing my worry over to Christ allows me to do my job and live a life of peace. You see that is what being a Christian is about to me you can live in peace, in love and with the promise of new life at the end of this one. This world with its hardships and trails is temporary its not my home and its not the end all be all. I have a home in the kingdom of God, He has reserved me a place and I am an heir to the inheritance.