Shalom

Tomorrow will be my last day of what is known as Core around OSU-CHS. Basically what that means is 4 months in the hospital...one month of OB/Gyn, one month of surgery and 2 months of internal medicine. My internal medicine months consisted of teaching service on a general medical floor and a month of ICU. As you can probably see this is why I haven't had the time to update my blog very often. Over the past four months I've learned a lot. I've gotten to help delivery some babies, assist in several surgeries, and see a lot of different pathology. I've learned a lot of the past few months that will help pass my boards. I've seen a lot of pathology and have been able to see the practical aspects of the things I had read in books over the last two years. But probably the most important things I have learned aren't not things that books teach or things that I need to pass boards, or even what medications and treatments to used to treat certain pathologies. These lessons can only be taught by getting to know my patients and walking with them through their disease process.

In the past I have shared the following quote that was in an article I had to read my freshman year at OBU. It sums what means to be a doctor to me.

" To promote life, not death; health, not sickness; to suffer and counsel with those who suffer; to care compassionately when one cannot cure; and to be a part of God's presence in the valley of the Shadow of Death, in short to search for Shalom"

I decided when I was a sophomore in high school to become a doctor. I wanted to become a doctor because I wanted to help people. I loved science and working as a student trainer gave me a passion for medicine. It was exciting as a high school student to work with an athlete who had injured themselves and help them rehab and then see them back playing in the game they loved. As a medical student I have had the opportunity to examine a patient and come up with a diagnosis and a plan of treatment. Today one of my patients that I have taken care of over the last month passed away. Over the past month I have watched as this sweet lady has had ups and downs. Her case bought up many questions that reminded me of the quote above. Sometimes do physicians promote life so much that they promote suffering? Are we adequate advocates for our patients? Do we care compassionately enough? After our patient coded (her heart stopped) today our attending physician (the boss) talked with her husband and it was decided that we would not code her again if her heart stopped again. One of my friends that I've been working with this month called me a little while ago to let me know that my patient had passed away. I had gotten to go early so I wasn't there, but she told me that after they removed the life support per the family's request the family left because they did not want to see her die. My friend and another student stayed in the room with the patient and held her hand as she died. This afternoon after we finished the code I held her hand and said it was going to be okay. Today I really learned what it means to be God's presence in the valley of the shadow of death. I feel that we did everything we could for our patient that we did our best to sustain her life and bring her back to good health. We counseled with her family and held this sweet lady's hand every time we saw her. I believe that we searched for peace for her. You see for those of us that our Christians, death is not the end it is only the beginning. I believe that my patient went from her hospital bed to the arms of Jesus. 

I hope that in my future as a physician I can live out this quote. I pray that I will be a physician that seeks to promote life. I pray that I not only just promote life, but  I seek quality life for my patients and I pray more importantly that I can point them to a fulfilled life in Christ. I pray that I promote health, not only physical and mental health, but spiritual health as well. I pray that I will counsel with my patients and come along side of them and comfort them while they suffer. I pray that I will always care compassionately for my patients, including those that are hard to be compassionate with.  I pray that like today I can be God's presence in my patients lives through death and life. I pray that I will seek peace not only in my patients lives but in my life. Philippians 4:6-7 is one of my favorite verses it says:

"Be anxious in nothing, but in everything, with prayer and thanksgiving present your requests to God and the PEACE of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Philippians 4:6-7

It is so reassuring to me to know that by turning everything over to our Father he grants us peace. The peace he give us is greater than all our understanding. When we are lost for words or reasons things happen we are guarded with the peace of Christ. 

"Know that the Lord is God. It is he who made us, and we are his people, the sheep of His pasture. Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise; give thanks to him for the Lord is good and His love endures forever; His faithfulness continues through all generations"

Psalm 100:3-5